11 April 2025

hello, i made a scarameow sculpture! here is a cute lil gif i made of it lolz!! look at him go

I actually made him last month but i made the gif now. i'm not very proud of him, i wish i sculpted his face a little differently but its okay for a first time scarameow i guess. i'm def gonna remake him someday haha. he is around 3 centimeters tall and 3 centemeters long, i made him out of air dry clay and painted with acrylic paint, glazed him with a transparent nail polish (i'm still trying to find the perfect glaze/varnish that will actually dry and wont be sticky T-T)

on the topic of sculpting, as soon as i have some funds i'm gonna buy some polymer clay!! i've been dreaming of sculpting miniature things with polymer clay since i was little, but never got around to it T-T i also love miniature food and desserts so i could do lots of miniature food charms!! ahh i can't wait till i get my hands on it!!! im so excited for it! but i have to wait till i get some money.

photo of the week:

4 April 2025

we decided to go out to the park, because the weather was so lovely!! it was so incredibly warm!! i loved it so much, i love spring :))) we sat under a willow tree and were enjoying a warm breezee and birds singing ^-^ i was taking a lot of pictures because everything as so pretty!

these ducks came so close to us, they were so cute

we sat in that spot for a longer while and journaled a bit(im very happy i picked up journaling again), before going to buy some snacks and drinks, i took some pictures of flowers on the way

then we went to a shopping centre and i bought Ru a tshirt :)

1 April 2025

happy trans visibility day and april fools! :3

i wish i could draw something for trans visibility day but i got no energy

i've been feeling like absolute shit, i've been so depressed. for the past 1-2 weeks it's been hard for me to have a day without crying. i've been free from suicidal thoughts for a while now, like months, but they are back. it's exhausting. i am in a constant battle against my own mind. i just wanna be happy but things in life are so hard to bear it's so hard to stay positive and ignore how hard it is. i'm trying so hard to be understanding for myself, but it's so hard while being neurodivergent. i feel so out of place, everything is too much for me. it's so hard to accept myself and treat myself with care when i feel like everyone else is doing great and they just deal with things.

i've been updating this page and my main page a lot, just so i could feel like i deserve to write about my feelings here. like once it looks decent i can write something.

i managed to take a shower this morning but i'm gonna go back to bed because i have zero energy. i already wasted so much time, it's 4pm. but that's okay.